I sat in the rocker in my 8-month old’s room after his bedtime bottle supporting him as he tried to stand facing me on my lap. I prepared my mind for the prolonged burp-waiting period. For some reason he finds it necessary to take the longest to burp after his last feeding, as if he’s not quite ready for bed. I like to think of it as him wanting to spend a little more time with his dad.
This particular night God spoke to me through the pure joy on Ax’s face that existed solely because he was staring at the face of his father.
“I love this kid more than I can imagine. I’d do anything for him. I’m obsessed. And somehow, God loves me far more than I can even imagine loving this boy.”
It was a convicting moment for me because I realized any time I walk in the room and he sees me, his face lights up. If I’m loving God like a child (Matthew 18:3), my face should light up every time I see Him working in my life. I’d be heartbroken if Axle ignored me or acted as if I was a random stranger every time he saw me.
Fewer things bring me more joy right now than getting that kid to laugh. I’ll throw him in the air (when Momma isn’t looking) and get those deep laughs that originate in his belly. He has zero awareness of the consequences if I drop him but has complete faith that I won’t. To him, being dropped isn’t even a thought. He’s all in for the excitement of the ride his dad is taking him on. Am I all in on the ride God has me on without being distracted by the risks?
Monday nights are Guys Nights at the Amilian house because Momma is off teaching Zumba at a local gym. He might be content by himself in his Pack ‘n Play for a short period, but he soon realizes Dad isn’t around and he’s crying out for him. As adults, we can slip into the mindset that we take care of ourselves and control our paths in life. We’re not as quick to realize we’ve strayed away from God and don’t call out to Him nearly as much as we should. There are times when I think, “Dang I haven’t had any time with God in quite a while. I miss Him!”
I’m writing this from a hotel room in Amarillo. I miss that boy right now and I delight in the pics and videos Lindsay sends of him throughout the week. If I think about him as much as I do, God is thinking about me much more. One day Axle is going to realize he wants to make his dad proud, and I know he’ll be able to. It’s time we put effort into making God proud. He expects much out of us so that’s not a task we can take lightly.
Of all the great and awful things I heard about having kids (and I heard plenty), I never once heard about how much I’d learn about God’s love for me. I’m not even eight months in and have already learned more than I grasp. I always knew parenthood would be an adventure, but I wasn’t aware how much better of a Christian man being a father is going to make me. My hype about Dad Life has gone to a new level.
Honor your Heavenly Father this Father’s Day by loving him like a child.
*Note: I love him too much not to flood this post of pictures of him!